The mind has a beautiful way of allowing a person to see all the things that interest her but still leave a wanting for the perfect thing that fulfills her. As time has gone by my aspirations have changed and dreams that I once had turned into fleeting desires. I have aspired to be many things in my life, to pursue many careers, but there is now only one that I desire. For the first time in my life there is no lingering question nor doubt in my mind about my choice. My aspiration to be an obstetrician paved the way for my ultimate goal to be a midwife.
The healing that you practice in the science of medicine with compassion is a human experience beyond the boundaries of every culture and society. An obstetrician is an amazing field and helps women with their pregnancy and birth, especially those with complications. I knew that much and I left it at that. I thought that if I was an obstetrician I would be able to help women who had complicated pregnancies. I would be the doctor to give the mother and child a better chance for survival if anything went wrong. I would be the one to save everything. As I looked more upon the field of obstetrics I realized that it was not what I wanted, I still had a lingering feeling for something more. I am not to be the one that takes the credit for the birth, it is the mother and I am only to be an aid.
An obstetrician is an amazing medical field, do not get me wrong, but it is not something that I want for my life. An OB is the person who is turned to when births become drastic or complicated. I realize that research does a great deal to the mind and a person, which seems like common sense but in reality, I have only just realized this. Although an obstetrician specializes in challenging births with complications, there is never really any time to have a family or to see the patient and her family grow. I have had the aspiration to be an obstetrician but there was always a wanting and a question that could not be ignored. I realized I want something more than a career, I want a fulfilling life that I wake up to everyday thanking God for all that he has bestowed upon me.
A midwife is my answer and I am not only content but confident and striving towards the goal of becoming a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM).

The coffee aroma fills the air as the grey cloud has been lifted from its mounted post atop my head. I have sadly spent two hours on something that was only supposed to take about ten minutes. I take blogging seriously and am a perfectionist. I see colors not as they are but as they should be. It took a very patient friend and loads of coffee to finally reformat and perfect my blog.All I can say is thank you.